Category: Joke Board
''What do you mean, today isn't Saturday?''
''There's a SWAT team on my front porch.''
''I lent my brother my suit for a job interview.''
''My agoraphobia has flared up.''
''There's a weather inversion, and it smells too bad out to leave the house.''
''My electricity is out; my garage- door remote won't work, so my car is stuck in the garage.''
''I'm having a bad back-hair day.''
''My lucky thong is at the cleaners.''
''I thought Arbor Day was a major holiday.''
''I have a nasty paper cut on my typing finger.''
''The only thing I have clean is my cheerleading outfit from high school.''
''The emergency room had to remove a suppository from my ear, but at least I know where I put my hearing aid.''
''I can't find the aluminum-foil beanie I wear to block alien radio transmissions.''
''I'm having a brown-acid flashback.''
''I didn't know my cat fell asleep on the snooze-alarm button.''
''My only clean dress makes my butt look big.''
''I'm out of Xanax.''
''I'm at the drugstore. My arm is caught in the blood-pressure machine.''
''I'm clueless.''
''My Barbie is sick, and Ken can't watch her.''
''My cat died. The visitation's today.''
''I'm calling in tired.''
''My kids are sick, and my spouse's job is more important than mine.''
''I have poison ivy where the sun don't shine.''
''I can't find my left sock.''
''I'm waiting on the Publishers Clearing House van to arrive. The letter said I may already be a winner.''
''My spastic colon just registered on the Richter scale.''
''I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.''
''I feel so good, I can't come in to work today.''
''My horoscope says co-workers are out to get me.''
"I feel like I've been dragged through a sick cow backward."
"Lately I've been bothered by a sense of ennui." (ennui is French for boredom)
"My get-up-and-go did."
LOL! Meraviglioso
hmm, translation, wonderful... or well at least I liked them too
lol, lol, tha'ts good.
lol
hahaha, I love them. I tought they'd be some others that I'd already read but they weren't...much funnier! :)
Thanks for bringing this one back up to the top Fuzzy101. I had forgotten about these myself and enjoyed rereading them.
Just in time for Monday morning too.
Bob
How about this one: "I can't come to work because my astrologist says that I shouldn't leave the house today."